The darkness

I didn’t originally start this blog to talk about depression, but as a way to overcome it. My theory was declutter my house, clear my mind, which does work…….

But the darkness does sneak back in.

I have had messages from women, thanking me for sharing my post natal depression experience. I have now decided that I will share all parts of my journey, in the hope to raise awareness and help others like me.

I have been quiet on my blog lately, and that is because my PND showed its head again. This makes me want to close off from everyone and everything. Wasn’t great timing either with the school holidays starting. {preschool finished 2weeks earlier than most schools}. Here I was, with both girls, school holidays, no clubs on and my family away, just feeling like I want to curl into a ball and hide.

It’s been a tough couple of weeks, iv really had to force myself to get out. Just walk to the park or in the woods or just the garden. Being outside helps. Alot! In times like this I know that visiting a friend or my sister will help but its a battle with myself to make me do it. Ridiculous really, but nevertheless, it’s a real emotional battle.

I need to remind myself people will help me out of this fog, and although my innerself is telling me to go crawl back under the duvet, and hide from everyone and everything. This behaviour only makes me feel Worse and the depression gets a stronger grasp on me, making the fight all so much harder. The key is Talk talk and talk some more. Easier said than done, but true!

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