Closing the lid

This weekend, I closed the lid on the overflowing todo box in my head and have just enjoyed family time.

It is crazy how hard this has been for me to do lately. Since the PND I haven’t wanted to do anything, iv really had to push myself. Being out of the house helps. The clubs and playgroups, i can almost put on an act, a smile and nobody knows.

As soon as I’m in the house my brain tells me to either sit or sleep. It’s strange and….. Depressing haha

Friday Hubby was off work and Eliza has ballet and swimming. We took a picnic with us to her swim class so we could sit in the park after. The girls had a play and then I had taken a bag of crumbs so we could walk home through the woodland park, and feed the ducks on the way home.

We had a movie night Saturday. We let Eliza stay up, watched UP, and had a few little treats. Then today we all went swimming as a family. Eliza loved showing off. Followed by playing in the garden and our Sunday roast. The icing on the cake is Adelyn got up and walked all by herself.

I think it has been so good for my soul. It has taken time and it’s hard to explain. Probably because I can’t give a proper reason, and it may seem silly to anyone that has not suffered postnatal depression but to just relax and enjoy what I was doing is a big thing. It’s isolating. For me, I feel like I shut off. I love my family but sometimes to engage with them seems hard. I hope I’m not judged here. It’s just the effect the condition has had on me and I have been fighting through it and this weekend I won. ?