It’s my life

Something that has struck me since my separation, is how some people….. Hide it.

I find this really unsettling. This decision is something I myself have battled with for 12months. I have been in turmoil with the idea. I was worried about my children, my family, his family…. How will they take the news. I also had no real idea if he was on the same page as me. I suppressed and suppressed my feelings. I tried to put the thought out of my head. I tried to tell myself I was in a bad place and that it would get better……. But it didn’t.This life decision is mine. Not anyone else’s. Its how I feel that matters.
You cannot live your life worrying about how you may upset other people, if you are unhappy. You deserve to be living your life full of happiness. It’s a huge change, yes, but if it’s right for you, it must be done. Anyone going through anything similar, be brave. Deep down I knew! I knew what was making me unhappy, as much as I didn’t want to say, and nobody wanted to listen. I knew!
The moment I accepted my feeling and said it out loud, a cloud lifted away from me, I could see light. I knew this was the right path. I am lucky that me and my ex are friends that is something we have always been and I think our connection is a deep friendship. This is what will help us work together for our children and in time I hope that we can be happy for each other when we find people that complete the other half of our lives. …… But for now…
It is not a secret, I am not ashamed. We gave it our all and had 12 years together. Yes, we had not long been married, but would I be getting the same reaction if we had married after 4 years together?! We’d have been married 8years then…….?… Silly!
Judgement of others is not going to get me down again. I know why there is a fear of judgement from our families, but at the end of the day, whos business is it? OURS!
I am moving forward and feeling happy.  Time to take control. Its my life after all.


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