Guilt.

Why is motherhood one big roller-coaster of guilt? And we hide it all. All of it swallowing us up inside.

It’s often talked about. “mum guilt”, usually for leaving our children with anyone else (even their dad) , or wanting time to ourselves.

Why?!

This is horrible. This is my main catalyst of depression. I would like time to myself. GUILT. For not wanting to be with my children. Is it bad?

Spend the day, just playing with the children. GUILT. I should have done the laundry, cleaning and shopping and have dinner ready.

I get time to my self. GUILT . I should be cleaning or organising or cooking if I don’t have them. All I actually want to do is lounge on the sofa and watch crap on TV.

I arrange a girls night out. GUILT . Is my husband OK, the two girls are hard work, he doesn’t like being left with both of them.

Date night. GUILT . We’d better hurry home, it’s not fair on the sitter (grandparents or whoever) they are not their children… Blah blah blah

Why do i feel this way? It’s exhausting. Everyone deserves a balance right? Life should be a mix of work, play and family life. Yet I can’t get past this feeling. Everything I do, I feel GUILT .

Why can’t I just Relax??