Today I wanted to talk about an observation. I have had these feelings, I have hidden these feelings, I have faked the smile and carried on with these feelings, but I have realised, I am not alone.
The more I talk about my troubles, the more research I do and forums I visit, it is evident, everyone is going through something. Usually the same fears or thoughts but different triggers and situations.
I was recently talking to a friend about an article she had read about turning 30. It was saying that this generation seems to have the most issues when they hit 30. Maybe it’s due to the influence of social media? We are the most connected we have ever been yet lack the skills to communicate with one another. It’s a lonely place. (que, early mid-life crisis?)
I think growing up, there was this thing, that by the time you were 30 you should have it all figured out, and then at the time of turning 30 you question where you are at, the decisions you have made, anything you should have done, should have or vice versa.
As I say, we all have diffent triggers, your age may not be yours. It wasn’t mine. Still, I suddenly was hit by a metaphorical truck of suppressed thoughts and feelings, and was forced to sift through and make life changing decisions. There was a lot of realisation as to how far I had come in neutral and had not really been emotionally conscious of my decisions. This was not OK. I did not want to carry on like this. I was unhappy. I had not realised it before, but this was the truth. So now fear – what do I do now? What will people think?
Major realisation for me….. I like to keep people happy and so don’t always make the best decisions for myself. The fear of them not agreeing with my decision. keep calm, and carry on had never made so much sense to me (carry on in neutral) BUT this is my life!!